The first time Judy and I had lunch, we spoke from the heart. She was re-entering the workforce after raising four kids; I was exiting to have my first. But we didn’t talk much about children.
We talked about ourselves, asking hard questions. Judy was wondering about leaving her marriage. I was wondering about leaving my job. We didn’t know what we wanted—except to become better friends. That was 50 years ago and we’re still talking.
Even though she moved to New Jersey and then to Arizona. Even though we’ve been through divorces and remarriages, while our children grew up and we grew old. Not without conflicts along the way—but we never gave up on each other.
Now the hard questions are life and death. After Judy’s husband died, I went to visit her. Our lives have changed but not our need to share them with someone we’ve known over time—especially as time is running out.
“I’m not coming to be a tourist,” I told her, “but to sit in your living room with wine and conversation.” And so we did.
Writer Karen Anderson lives in Traverse City.
