As a child, I was taught to say a prayer every night before bed, the one that begins with, “Now I lay me down to sleep.” At the end, I asked God to bless various people, starting with my parents, of course, and (somewhat reluctantly) my baby brother. Then there were grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and my dog.
As I grew older, I started adding boyfriends to the list—real ones and fantasy ones. I don’t remember when I finally stopped saying this prayer, but I can still recite the list. And I still hope God is blessing all those people, wherever they are.
These days, I have a different but similar ritual. Before dinner every night, my husband and I enjoy a beer with some cheese and crackers. And we begin with a toast, to each other and to any family member or friend who needs extra love and support. It’s a long list.
Does this really help anyone? We’ll never know, but it helps us. Saying the names out loud reaffirms our concern, our connection. It draws the circle of love tighter somehow.
When people recover from their illness or difficulty, we take them off the list, but not those who have died. It seems important to keep saying their names out loud.
Now, more than ever.
