SCOTT SIMON, HOST:
Breaking up is hard to do. Thousands of songs tell us that, but what about the breakup between friends? Along with the bruised feelings, there's the awkward social interactions in the aftermath, often as if nothing has happened at all. British musician Essy Sparrow has been through this and written a song about it, "Weddings And Funerals."
(SOUNDBITE OF ESSY SPARROW SONG, "WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS")
ESSY SPARROW: I was invited to a wedding - someone who I hadn't spoken to in a long time. You know, I'd really hoped that one day, maybe we would rekindle our relationship and that maybe they'd apologize for how they'd acted. But instead of an apology, I just received an invite to their wedding in the post.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS")
SPARROW: (Singing) Imagine me, eight months' time, at a wedding that isn't mine, sitting with the 10 girls who blocked me.
I really wanted this song to feel gossipy, and the night this happened, as I was chatting to my friends, I found myself kind of exaggerating the story and being like, can you imagine if I went there, like, sitting with the 10 girls that blocked me? And I didn't actually get blocked, but it really felt like the right thing to say at the time (laughter).
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS")
SPARROW: (Singing) Imagine me sitting there watching all the white you wear, knowing I was red for months with the grief. I've built this life.
I'd been walking with my partner that night, and I just said, like, I know I'm really fun at a wedding, but I just feel like they want to wheel me out for weddings and funerals. Tom turned around and was like, I know this is not a good time and you're really upset, but that would make a really good song.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS")
SPARROW: (Singing) So wheel me out for weddings and funerals. Oh, God, aren't I fun for the night? And when the party's done and you've all had your fun, I'll probably go home and cry. Let's not lie. Lie.
There are so many songs for ending of relationships, of pining for someone, yearning for someone. And yet we don't necessarily have that for, you know, friendship endings - being on different pages to someone that's not romantic.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS")
SPARROW: (Singing) Karma comes in special ways, like the day Fran called to say, you keep telling people we drifted. I bet it's fun for you to frame everything in that way. You can't go to court if the crime's unlisted. You cut me down, made me feel small. I held myself tight through it all. Now you're asking me to throw confetti.
(Laughter) I don't think so.
(Singing) So wheel me out.
I really love a cheeky lyric, but this whole song is kind of a facade. Like, I'm being funny. I'm being ironic. But ultimately, I am sad that it happened. I'm sad that they didn't reach out in a way that felt genuine. So I think you kind of feel that there's something underneath this song, hopefully, at this point.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS")
SPARROW: (Singing) So wheel me for weddings and funerals. Oh, God, aren't I fun for the night. And when the party's done, and you've all had your fun, you'll hate that I stayed all night. Let's not lie.
The ending changes here, I think, foreshadowing, kind of just offering the other perspective of, like, you won't even like it. Like, I will cry (laughter). You'll hate that I stayed all night. You'll think I ruined it.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS")
SPARROW: (Singing) God, I know you're stupid. God, I know I'm fun. I once ached for a wedding but not this one.
And this part was me, like, perhaps after a few beverages, you know, making my way onto the dance floor and just absolutely making a scene.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS")
SPARROW: (Singing) You were the problem. You were the problem, not me. 'Cause I'm perfect. No. I'm perfect.
I really wanted to put the nail in denial (laughter) and just sort of like, I know I'm not perfect, and I know that this humor that I'm using as a defense mechanism, but it's working. So we're just going to roll with it.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS")
SPARROW: (Singing) So wheel me out for weddings and funerals. Oh, God, aren't I fun for the night? And when the party's done, and you've all had your fun, I'll probably go home and cry. 'Cause I wish we never had this fight. I can't lie.
I haven't heard from this person. But I did actually hear from several other people who reached out to apologize because they thought this song was about them, and it wasn't at all, but that's OK (laughter).
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS")
SPARROW: (Singing) Oh.
SIMON: That's Essy Sparrow talking about her son, "Weddings And Funerals." It's from her new EP, "Gossip From A Coastal Town."
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS")
SPARROW: (Singing) Let's not lie. Lie. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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