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A Minute With Mike: Let's talk about turn signals

Vic Reyes
Credit Vic Reyes

As we move through the early21stcentury, technology continues to grow by leaps and bounds. That got Stateside producer Mike Blank to wonder: Just when does formerly cutting edge technology become obsolete?

Unless you’ve been blessed enough to never have had to ride in or drive a car, you know the sound of thetried and true blinker.

It’s designed to let our fellow motorists know when a car plans on turning or changing lanes.

But, we also know in our heart of hearts that the blinker is used, let’s say, randomly and arbitrarily.

Stateside producer Mike Blank on why turns signals should be banned

Seriously, how many times have you witnessed a car abruptly changing lanes like an over-excited Nascar driver who has suddenly realized a vehicle can do more than just turn left?

Or been left clueless at a four-way stop because turn signals aren’t used – or worse, completely contradicted?

And, let’s not forget the freeway driver who leaves the turn signal on for miles.

My point? If turn signals aren’t being used, why have them? In fact, let’s make the turn-signal illegal!

Hear me out.

Banning the turn-signal would save car companies lots of money – and according to the prevailing economic theory, the more money a corporation makes, the better the world gets.

Also, a turn-signal ban would force drivers to assume that any nearby car might pull out recklessly, turn suddenly, and/or cut you off in an extremely dangerous manner at any and all times.

So, if cars could turn this way or that with no notice, drivers would be forced to drive more defensively.

In short, let’s all assume every other driver is a complete ignoramus whose self-absorbed driving antics might kill you (cough cough) … except for you … I mean, you’re probably a better driver than everyone else, with more important things to do and more important people to see. I hear you. It’s OK.

But, back to my point, for safety’s sake: let’s ban the turn-signal!

Copyright 2021 Michigan Radio. To see more, visit Michigan Radio.

Mike Blank is a producer and editor for Stateside. Inspired by a story on a bag of Uncle Ray’s potato chips, Blank created the satire segment “A Minute with Mike” which can be heard on Stateside. A proud U-M drop-out and Summa Cum Laude graduate of Wayne State, Blank first started working in radio in 1998 and has worked at WKHM, WDET, WXYT and WWJ. Blank won the 2012 Michigan Association of Broadcasters “Best Morning Show” award as the lone producer of the Charlie Langton Show. A Michigander since age 2, Blank has resided in Detroit since 2004 where he enjoys walks to Tiger’s games and watching wild pheasants in the vacant lots across the street.