A Crisis of Care: Parents struggle with affordability, availability

The Amidon family lives in a quiet part of Manistee, nestled among dense forests.

“The small town vibe here is warm and welcoming," said Rebecca Amidon. "We really love living here.”

She and husband Ryan have two children. Indigo is about 7 months old and Ace is 3.

Tonight the family is at the table with some chips and guacamole. Indigo is sleeping. Ace is sharing his ABCs and playing around.

Rebecca Amidon says there are times when the family can make each day work pretty well, and times when it's really difficult.

“For example, last year I was working a part time job. It was going so well it ended up being more full time. I was going to get a pay increase and we just couldn’t find daycare in Manistee," she said. "A lot of the daycare crisis situation is if you do find a daycare opening you don’t get to choose what’s the best fit for your child. You just take what you can get.”

The Amidons found a childcare provider last year, but it was a religious provider which did not align with their family values. So they decided to pass.

“It was tough," she said. "There were a lot of really late nights after the kids went to sleep to try and get my work done and we got through. And that’s kind of how we do now.”

Those kind of disruptions are shared among most families struggling to find childcare in local, state and national studies. They have to balance their schedules to make it work.

Rebecca is a part-time adjunct instructor at Mid Michigan College and Ryan works full time as a quality assurance manager.

“If I have a meeting the next day, I let him know, 'Hey, have a meeting at this time. What are you doing for work at this time?'” Rebecca said.

And if both parents are busy they’ll load up a cartoon on TV, get Ace some snacks and make sure Indigo is fed and content.

They do what they have to do.

“And I know that that's shortchanging especially the toddler who I don't want to have to park in front of a TV all the time," she said. "But you know, with inflation and the cost of everything, we can’t survive on one salary and I don’t think many people can nowadays."

So even if they could find a spot with an opening, it may not be right for their needs. Ryan Amidon said some centers only allowed full-time care, which they didn’t necessarily need.

He said they wanted a five-day-a-week, eight-hour-a-day commitment, which was "so selective that they're gonna take people who were less kids, same kid every day, less scheduling.”

And that is expensive. They tried a place in Ludington which is about 40 minutes away. It provided a 10% discount for a toddler and infant.

“It was gonna cost, per-month, $1,767. Which is more than our mortgage," Rebecca said. "And if you add that up for 12 months that is $21,204 and that is more than a lot of college tuition. So I’m not sure how we could logistically make that work.”

Costs can vary wildly. In Emmet County parents said they pay over $1,000 on average. Other studies show something close to that amount if not more.

“Most Americans are in this position, if not worse," Ryan Amidon said. "Luckily we’re not digging any deeper holes. But we’re treading water."

He adds that other expenses are compounding too. Student loans returning after a pandemic pause, mortgage payments, thousands of dollars in medical bills and the cost of preschool. The Amidons call it death by a thousand cuts.

“It’s really demoralizing in that way," Ryan said. "We take two steps forward then three steps back.”

Other parents, like Chrissie Gonzales, were startled by how quickly they needed to find care.

She was three weeks pregnant with her first child when some friends asked what she was going to do for care.

“I said, 'What are you talking about I'm barely pregnant,' and they were like 'Oh … you’re way behind,'" Gonzales said. "I frantically started calling and I think I was on eight different waitlists.”

One center told her there was a year-long wait to get in. Her family's needs were so dire they almost considered moving away.

“We don’t have any family in the area so it was one of those things where neither one of us would be able to quit our jobs," she said. "So what do you do if you can’t find care?”

Luckily, Gonzales was able to find care three weeks before she was supposed to return to work.

“It was just a lot of crossing your fingers hoping and just making those repeat phone calls: 'I just wanted to make sure I’m still on your waitlist,'" she said. "And again calling six [or] seven different places a couple times of month. And that’s totally normal — just the experience of finding childcare.”

And that experience is shared by families across the country in local, state and national studies.

For the Amidons, they say they are fortunate to spend so much time with their kids, despite the constant juggling act, and that they benefit from friendlier work schedules.

After the pandemic, both of their jobs allowed them to work from home. Rebecca Amidon said switching to more remote work has helped them navigate caring for their children.

“He’s [Ryan] got an office in the basement. He comes up here and we can have lunch together," she said. "If I need to work or have a meeting he can take care of them and it just gives us a lot of flexibility to be together as a family.”

Industries hurt the most by a lack of childcare in Michigan include manufacturers, hospitality and other three shift schedules.
Flexible schedules may not be possible for all families.

The Amidons say they wouldn’t trade their silver linings for the world. But Rebecca Amidon said it should be easier to access care, and that could involve society changing the way it views children and families.

“It breaks my heart when people can't get the assistance that they need at the detriment of the child," she said.

And she has no patience for the idea that people should pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

"That kind of stuff just drives me insane," she said. "We have worked our butts off to get where where we are, you know? You shouldn't have to sacrifice the wellbeing of your child to make things work.”

After all, these kids are going to grow up to be the people who make the world work and investing in them now, Rebecca says, will only benefit all of us.