http://ipraudio.interlochen.org/DownSyndrome_Movie.mp3
Monday night at the Traverse City State Theatre, there's a screening of Monica & David. The film is about a pair of lovers who have intellectual disabilities, Down Syndrome.
They do something you might not expect. They get married.
The people who are bringing the movie to town say they want folks to know that people with disabilities have the same hopes and dreams as anyone else.
Focusing On Career
Max Dingeman has Down Syndrome. He also has a long-time girlfriend. He met Abby four years ago at a Downs fundraiser. But the 20-year-old Traverse City man is not thinking of marriage.
"Not just yet because that's a big step in your relationship. I'm going to wait until I get a little older," he says.
Max does hope marriage is in the cards for him someday. For now, he's focused on his career. He's a certified assistant athletic trainer, working at Premier Fitness in Traverse City.
"I help this client out, he has bad brain injury. We do house visits also. We help them get into shape," Max lists his clients by first name. "We have Dan, Bill, Gene, another Gene, Jesse... so that would be... oh Dave. Six."
Max assists with a handful of clients, and he's also willing to do whatever needs to be done around the gym. He'll even clean the bathrooms, his least favorite part of the job.
No Limits
Him mom, Denine Dingeman, learned a long time ago that it's best to assume Max can, and will , do whatever he puts his mind to. In junior high, for example, Denine says she didn't take Max's bid for student council seriously. He lost. But Max didn't give up.
"He was on student senate in high school," she says. "He was on ski team. They took state champs one year that he was on, just like his dad did when he was at Central going to high school. Max just kind-of decides what he's going to do and we just kind-of wait and see. Wait and see what happens."
Missy Smith says she does the same thing with her daughter Bernie. Wait and see...
But Missy also says it can be tempting to put limits around three-year-old that, despite her Down Syndrome, Bernie really doesn't need.
"You have to be careful that you're not putting them in a box that they may not need to be in," Missy says. "But at the same time you love them more than anyone and you want to protect them from people who may pose, you know, who may not have their best interests at heart."
The Smiths and the Dingemans are part of a group that's bringing the film Monica & David to Traverse City, the Down Syndrome Association of Northwest Michigan.
"You know, we want for our children what every other parent wants for their children," Missy Smith says. "We want them to have successful relationships with other people, whether that means their friendships or love interests.
"We want those for our kids as well. And when people are open and accepting and are willing to make the effort and take the time to get to know our kids who have Down Syndrome, I think they're always pleasantly surprised."
A Joyful Spirit
Missy only started learning about Downs three years ago, about an hour after giving birth to her fourth daughter, Bernie. That's when the doctor recognized in the child some physical traits of Down Syndrome.
There was shock for the family, confusion and wide eyes. But one brother wasn't the least bit worried when he found out. He had gone to high school with Max Dingeman.
"He's like, 'Oh, well like Max? That's no big deal at all! That's great!'" Missy recalls the reaction. "So right away, it was nice that our family had a positive association with it from the get-go.
"He has spirit of, just, kindness, and just a great willful attitude and the joyfulness of life. It just really comes out in Max whenever I see him. And I think a lot of people in the community feel that way as well.
"And, you know, even though there are challenges in life, and we all have them: maybe you're not good at math or you can't walk very well, maybe you have Down Syndrome, but it's really a great reminder that with any challenge, there's a reason to be joyful. And I think Max really humanizes that."
The Next Challenge
Max Dingeman worked hard to become an assistant athletic trainer, even while we was working another job, at Hagerty Insurance. Now that he's working in his chosen field, he has a new goal.
"I'm working on my driver's training, and also I'm trying to hook up with some of my friends in the future," he says. "Some of my friends are in college. Some are still here, and it's hard for me to connect with people."
The event Monday night at the State Theatre in Traverse City includes the film, Monica & David, and a recorded Q&A with its director. There will also be a live panel discussion with an engaged couple from Southeast Michigan. It's free.