My father grew up poor and was stingy all his life—even when he had money. Every Sunday morning, he drove me to the drugstore where he’d give me a dollar to run in and buy the papers. When I returned, he’d hold out his hand for the change. He never said, “Keep it.”
My first husband also grew up poor but was generous all his life—even when he had no money. Early in the marriage when we were struggling, a friend asked him to loan her fifty dollars and he was glad to do it. “You’ll never get it back,” I said. “I know,” he said.
And I think about the economy of scarcity versus the economy of abundance. Why is one person afraid there’s never enough while another is confident of plenty? I don’t think it’s about money. I think it’s about security, less about your net worth than your self-worth.
“I can always get money,” my first husband said and started a successful business. “I never made big money,” my father said although he was a very good dentist.
Raised by a tight-fisted father, I have been chasing generosity all my life, learning to open my hand and say, “Keep the change.”
